DESENSITIZING AMERICA

Thanks a lot, Madonna
Touched for the very first time
She's been an octopus ever since
Wraps herself in fresh velvet ropes
every time we need her there
Then there's Pamela pulling
the loaded tug-boat
Low-key certainly not her middle name
She led to the ever-popular celebrity
show-boating barrage of accidental bed tapes
The cyber highway became a fast lane
for ever slowing news days
Television is always a given
Boring radio got punchier
Bigger bare mid-riffs were suprisingly acceptable to all
Billboards with fake dreams
Print ads with half-naked teens
That reminds me, as if I really forgot
I finally jumped the proverbial land shark
It's over Johnny, the war's over!
Having a daughter naturally changed everything, so admittedly but don't tell anyone, I am now the old guy who has to turn his head like he's grabbing a sip of his beer while two frisky sixteen-year-old freakazoid chicks jump out of the same jacuzzi, naked as a Jay bird bending in the broad of day in the dead of night, and I didn't even see the dental floss being removed right under my jurisdiction which by the way at this point could be leading to a seriously ridiculously major run-on-sentence
Distraction, sorry
You know the story by now, Noodles
I promised myself something that night, also
If you are a day over twenty, you'll be starring in my next cell phone exclusive
Bow-chica-bowm-bowm
Please show your I.D. to the bouncer to the right, and don't mind the nasty night-stick
Just tools of the dangerously growing trade
Speaking of tools.....sorry, my bad
My so very, very, very, very bad!
Now spank me already
Like I said, thanks Maddie!



POST-GAME PRESS CONFERENCE INTERVIEW

It all came together in the end there
When all of you look at the film later, you will see that the line of scrimmage was controlled the entire second half
The way we mixed it up on offense, there was no telling which angle we were going to attack from
That's what's been missing from the onset
But, I would agree that we are jelling at the right time
Now after a long wait, it's on to the playoffs
Now's where we really have to focus, or it's "one-and-out-time"
I can guarantee you guys only one thing
This club has not reached it's full potential yet
If we can really bang on all four cylinders now, then we just might make a good run through this thing
I'm looking forward to the challenge, quite frankly gentlemen
It's been a pleasure, gang
Been a long time coming, and I have a feeling that it will not be our last rodeo
We've got more bulls to ride and this is going to be like a Calgary Stampede now
Best of the best
Can we pass the test?
I'm sure you'll write about it



HAPPEN AGAIN

I'm not in a hurry for any real conversation
I'll wait until the tides begin to rise
I'm kind of getting used to taking
the whole bed to myself
I don't even feel lonely deep down inside

It will happen again
It will come along, and
I will sing the official
Song of Joy
It will happen again
In such due time, my friend
It will happen again
It will happen again

Not in a hurry for lots of
hugs and kisses around me
It may seem that I'm desperate for her
Just wait for the signs, peeled
from the lost interior designs
I'll recognize them, if I'm not in a blur

It will happen again
It will come along, and
I will sing the official
Song of Joy
It will happen again
In such due time, my friend
It will happen again
It will happen again